Day 123 (7:32 am) So Cal. So Relaxing. So Cleansing, Despite June Gloom


It’s early here in Mission Viejo, California. It’s been an incredible (bitter sweet) weekend. I went for a walk this morning in the crisp, but comfortable morning air. I walked fighting back tears while thinking of her, and her dreams. Lindy had a dream of living here one day soon. I get her enchantment with Orange County now. I can’t say I shared the same dream, but I would have been more than fine with it. It’s almost as if God designed this place around her personality. Hard to explain that comment so I won’t even try.

I really enjoyed getting to know Julie and Paul better. Really fun couple. I’m sad that this visit didn’t happen with my Lindy.

We were tentatively scheduled to come out here a couple of Thanksgivings ago, but Lindy got struck with her second tumor and we had to back out. She loved Southern California , especially Orange County. She had aspirations of us living here one day. I never understood why she wanted to till this visit. It’s beautiful here. Love that you can go to the beach everyday if you want or go hiking, or both. There are tons of hiking trails out here and the people here in the OC are great. I know there are plenty of places to do these things, but the weather here is incredible year around! I see now what Lindy always saw. It saddens me that we will never experience the desire she had for us to live her.

This visit was very cathartic though and I’m excited to carry on her long time friendship with her dear friend. Julie and Paul were unable to make it to the funeral because she found out the day Lindy died she was pregnant. Im happy I got to see them and catch up. I’m looking forward to spending my last day here on a boat with her and Paul later this afternoon. Should cap off a near perfect weekend. Only thing that could have made it better was having Lindy here physically.

We all enjoyed a Dodgers game last night in downtown LA. What a really cool stadium. It’s like we time warped back to the late 50’s! Had a world famous Dodger dog. Okay, I had two if I’m being honest! The Dodgers have this new amazing player, Piug that defected from Cuba to play baseball here. Between that, them celebrating 50 years since their last World Series and a stadium frozen in time the nostalgia was as thick as the LA haze!

They pulled Puig up from the minors just recently. Paul was saying that this is his 5th major league game. He apparently has hit 4 home runs, one of them being a grand slam. Although he didn’t have what looked liked to be his best batting game last night, he did throw a guy out stealing second to third…all the way from right field. It was an exciting night mixed with sadness that we couldn’t enjoy a night like this with Lindy in a city she loved so much.

Lindy and I actually enjoyed our last baseball game together at Wrigley in Chicago. We (she) had a nostalgic day that day. She grew up in Chicago. She spent some of her childhood years there. The morning of the game we left walking from Trump Towers . We walked to Macy’s to buy a jacket for her for the game, as it was a bit chilly. She said it reminded her of when she was a kid going shopping on the Magnificent Mile with her dad. She said he used to take her downtown to the Marshall’s, now Macy’s to shop. I’m tearing up just thinking about that day and remembering her talk about it. We had an amazing day at the game that day. We enjoyed Chicago every time we’d visit. I will always recall those memories, especially at every baseball game I go to.

It goes without saying she has left a deep hole in my heart. I have to think that this and certain chains of events recently are leading me to something meaningful. I read this morning in my devotional that if you bow down before God you cannot fail. Losing the love of my life has put so many things in perspective and I pray that I discover what it is I am supposed to be meant for as I try to get closer to God.


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